Simple tips for positive parenting
Is positive parenting simply about being ‘positive’ towards our kids? Is it about talking positively instead of negatively, or disciplining without loosing your cool? Actually positive parenting is being seen as an entire way of being that values growth, well-being, relationships and happiness, above all else. At it’s core, it’s about focusing on what’s right with your children and intentionally strengthening the relationship you have with them. Psychologists know that a close parent-child relationship motivates our kids to behave from a place of care and love (not from fear).
In this approach we learn to set out clear expectations and consequences and get them to co-operate willingly. Talking and responding in ways that encourage and reinforce good behaviour really works. Managing your kids in this win-win way actually teaches responsibility and builds self-esteem, while avoiding punishment.
Seem easier said than done? Actually, in psychologist Carol Surya’s book, ParentMagic – raising kids positively (2016), parents love realizing that there are many easy ways to gain their child’s co-operation, discipline positively and empower them. Simple tips can quickly and powerfully turn your parenting around. So given the right ingredients (and a bit of practice), it is no wonder that positive parenting strategies begin to work effortlessly!
Here are a few more positive parenting tips from ParentMagic:
- go down to their eye-level – this wins their instant attention
- acknowledge their feelings and wishes – without always trying to ‘fix’
- be clear and enthusiastic – especially in your instructions
- turn daily challenges into a game – when things seem fun everything changes
- watch your tone of voice – shouting often backfires
- be patient – give them time to respond positively
- offer choices – this helps kids feel important
- notice and encourage them with words
- make it easy to co-operate – speak as if they’re already listening
- let them decide – and face the consequences
- say “please” and “thank you” – when kids feel respected co-operation comes naturally
- admit your mistakes – they’re very forgiving when we’re humble
Remember sometimes it’s the smallest things that make the biggest difference for them – a look, a genuine smile, a hug when you notice he’s a bit down, a moment of heartfelt listening. Above all, Carol encourages parents to be patient with themselves and have fun in this process, because when you’re happy, your children are happy.
To learn more about becoming a positive parent visit the tips page on www.raisingkidspositively.com or buy the revolutionary parenting manual by psychologist Carol Surya ParentMagic – raising kids positively.